Baby Powder (WARNING, explicit language!)

****If you might be offended by a pissed off parent's foul language, stop reading.*****

Do you know what a just opened brand new container of baby powder looks like when it is absolutely emptied out all across your bedroom? Do you know what a six year old boy and two year old girl do when you enter that room just as the cloud begins to reach tornadic proportions as the ceiling fan whirls a white cloud of dust into your sleeping atmosphere. Do you know what a six year old who DEFINITELY knows better but STILL failed to stop the two year old from emptying it says when he realizes he is in the biggest trouble of his life. I heard the laughing. I know he was involved. So when he points that finger once again at someone else because OF COURSE he didn't do it what the hell am I supposed to do? I DO NOT CARE WHO STARTED IT, WHO DID IT OR WHO YOUR FINGER IS POINTED TOWARDS. WERE YOU IN THE ROOM? DID YOU SEE SOMETHING BAD? THEN WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING JOINING IN INSTEAD OF YELLING AT ME?????

Do you know what it sounds like when the only thing you can muster is to lock them both in their bedrooms while you attempt to clean up baby powder? Do you know what it feels like when locking them into their bedroom is the LEAST of the evils you can think of while you look at the baby powder than is so goddamn thick it looks like fucking father Christmas took a big fat snow shit all over your bed and floor. Do you know how encouraging it is while you try to clean up something that is impossible to clean up, and you just creating a bigger dust cloud and make it one hundred percent impossible to sleep in your own bed if you want to be able to breath just a little bit?

Did I mention it was a BRAND effing new can of baby powder? Did I mention it wasn't even for them, but MY OWN chaffed ass from hanging out at Field Day all day serving up snowcones to a whole gaggle of 4 to 9 year olds and giving thumbs up to the goddamn six year old who could have just taken that can of fucking baby powder, told his sister that it was a no-no and brought it to me?

Once. JUST ONCE I would like for my child to do the right thing. ONCE. As I sit here on my chapped ass, listening to my daughter's silence and the incessant wailing coming from the six year old's closed door, I wonder WHY it is impossible to leave a can of baby powder on top of a dresser that the two year old cannot even REACH. Who the hell got it down in the first place? AND WHY. WHY did the six year old not stop her. Because apparently, baby powder is all fucking fun and games until your momma catches you white fucking handed, sitting in a pile of your own self righteousness.


**edited by popular demand, to add a photo...